he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
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