I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
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