i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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