Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I wish you could order shots online.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
