I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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