Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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