Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(201): View more from New Jersey

I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.

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(407): View more from Florida

official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.

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(505): View more from New Mexico

We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"

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(912): View more from Georgia

His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.

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(415): View more from California

And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!

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(616): View more from Michigan

I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.

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(862): View more from New Jersey

Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.

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(410): View more from Maryland

Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year

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(725): View more from

It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian

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