Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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