adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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