I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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