There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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