Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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