Can i not drive my cunt home
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
