nut hugger
lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
