I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
