im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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