The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
