me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
