he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
