And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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