Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
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