seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
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You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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