hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
