yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
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I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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