thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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