Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
