I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Randomize
