i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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