actually, I'm a sock model
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
