why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
She tied me up with her honor cords...
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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