Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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