Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
