I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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