Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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