her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
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When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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