Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
