You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
