I wish I could punch you in the face.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
