My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
