Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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