I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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