i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
