Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
