I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
