onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
