No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
