i always forget guys have bellybuttons
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
