Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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