I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize