I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
How many fucks given?
0.12846
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
