Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
