Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
50% drunk capacity currently
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
