wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
