proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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