He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
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