Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
