I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
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I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize