I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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