new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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