haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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