U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
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When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
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At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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