i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
